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Self-leadership can be lonely. It’s hard to do the thing no one else wants to do. That no one else is willing to do. But it turns out you’re not alone. There are others showing up to life in extraordinary ways – and getting through hard shit with humor and grace. Join Anne Roche, former criminal defense attorney turned life leadership coach, as she finds the others – those who laugh as they lead, dance as they fight, and allow generosity to outshine fear. Let’s live through this, together.
Episodes
Saturday Jan 22, 2022
Saturday Jan 22, 2022
Welcome to Season 2 of How I Live Through This!
This season focuses on Leaders Within.
So many of our institutions, organizations, and industries feel broken or at least deeply flawed.
Change feels impossible – they’re too big, too established, too stuck. Let’s just burn it to the ground.
But then I start talking with people within these systems, and I find hope. People showing up to change. People taking small steps and giant leaps. People who aren’t just talking about hope, but actually creating it.
How do they navigate the complexities of working within a system to change it, and where they see their work moving the needle?
Listen in to hear the stories of those choosing love, seeing possibility, and building bridges.
Join us – let’s live through this together.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne in Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
I’m excited to start off Season 2 with Teresa Goines. Everything Teresa talks about – acting from love, standing in community, taking small steps, and letting go of the outcome – shows up in every interview I did this season. These amazing people are proof that every person has the power to make a difference.
At 19, a waitress in a small diner, Teresa swore she’d never end up owning a restaurant. Today, Teresa is the founder and CEO of Old Skool Cafe, a jazz-themed supper club run by at risk youth in San Francisco.
How did she get there? Listen to Teresa talk about how her next job, a correction officer for juveniles, changed the trajectory of her life. Hearing the stories of kids wanting more in their life but not having access to it broke her heart and left her with a calling to do more. She eventually founded Old Skool Café which provides training, jobs and a second chance at life for youth coming out of incarceration and foster care.
How did she go from thinking something to doing something? From seeing a problem to being part of the solution? Teresa talks about the small steps she took, without knowing the outcome, that built upon each other and eventually led to a platform where kids could know their value, gain economic freedom, use their voice, and break the cycle of incarceration for their own children.
Seeing gold in others and supporting what’s already there is at the heart of everything Teresa does. It’s not always been easy – there were moments where the task felt too big, the change too small, the work impossible. But faith and love strengthened her belief that kids could thrive and have the life they were meant to have if she just kept moving forward.
Teresa leaves us with a call to action: don’t ignore the pricks in your heart. Take steps, be curious, try something – even if it’s messy, even if you don’t feel qualified – because every step will help you take the next step.
Come – join us. Let’s live through this together.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Teresa Goines:
>>> Connect with Teresa on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/teresa-goines-6063b25/
>>> Follow Teresa on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/teresa_goines/
Resources:
Learn more about Old Skool Café:
- https://www.oldskoolcafe.org/
- https://www.instagram.com/oldskoolcafe/
- https://www.linkedin.com/company/old-skool-cafe/
More about from Teresa:
Watch 5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Started - https://youtu.be/GVw33Tmw7no
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Bun Lai and I go way back – I stabbed him with my pencil in the 6th grade. Luckily, he didn’t hold it against me and agreed to come on the show to discuss food, love, and storytelling.
Bun talks about his parents – and grandparents – who defied expectations and followed their own paths and how their journeys informed his own exploration. Bun has always been an artist but was drawn to cooking in order to support his mother. Purpose driven from a young age, Bun’s journey as a chef started out of love for his mother, yet evolved and thrived as he took on the role as head chef at Miya’s – the first sustainable sushi restaurant in the world. There he melded artistry and love and, through his storytelling, changed the way we eat and experience food.
We discuss all the changes in Bun’s life since he closed his wildly successful restaurant – done because he was no longer living the kind of healthy life he was teaching others to do. With humility and humour, Bun talks about the small steps he’s taken to make great change in his life and how questioning what he believed to be true has brought him greater clarity. We all have the power to make a difference – it’s enough to exist and do good things in the smallest of ways because the ripple effect will create impacts you can’t imagine.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Bun Lai:
>>> Follow Bun on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cookinforpeace/?hl=en
>>> Connect with Bun on Twitter - https://twitter.com/cookinforpeace
>>> Follow Bun on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bun.lai
Learn more about Bun here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bun_Lai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dk-9yTZLv5Y
Miya’s: http://miyassushi.com/
The Foote School: https://www.footeschool.org/
Blind Sushi: https://vimeo.com/189716717
The Cay, by Theodore Taylor https://www.amazon.com/Cay-Puffin-Book-Theodore-Taylor/dp/0141354941/ref=pd_lpo_1?pd_rd_i=0141354941&psc=1
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Talking with Bithiah Carter, President of New England Blacks and Philanthropy, is always a delight. We have fun, dive deep, and tend to say the things other people are afraid to say outloud.
This conversation was no different. We talk philanthropy – what it was, what it has become, and where it’s headed.
What shifts when we democratize philanthropy by returning to a focus on time, ties and talents as well as treasure? Every action becomes an important action and every person may lead from their own seat.
We also talk stories - how understanding the stories of those before us and beside us allow us deeper connections to each other. We don’t empower others – we can only give power to ourselves. But when we connect and understand each other, we use our individual powers to raise up the collective.
Philanthropy grounded in love is transformational. And no one believes in the power of love more than Bithiah Carter.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Bithiah Carter:
>>> Connect with Bithiah on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bithiahcarter/
Resources
New England Blacks in Philanthropy: http://www.nebip.org/
Caste by Isabel Wilkerson https://www.isabelwilkerson.com/
Horizontal Philanthropy:
National Philanthropic Trust: https://www.nptrust.org/
History of Giving: https://www.historyofgiving.org/
Harambee
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harambee
- https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20201004-harambee-the-kenyan-word-that-birthed-a-nation
Giving Black Hampton Roads: https://hamptonroadscf.org/leadership-initiatives/diversity-equity-and-inclusion/giving-black-hampton-roads
1619 Project: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html
Combined Jewish Philanthropies: https://www.cjp.org/about-us
W.K. Kellogg Foundation: https://www.wkkf.org/
The Crown Act: https://www.thecrownact.com/
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
What happens when a loving mother shows her young son the power of giving? That young boy grows up to be a deeply kind, generous giver in return. Come hear the story of Mandell Conway and his desire to bake philanthropy into the fabric of everything we do.
We talk about Mandell’s project Giving Is Like and the importance of listening in philanthropy. He shares his stories of heart centered, intentional giving and the idea of celebrating people as a form of giving back. Everyone has the power to be a philanthropist and Mandell gives examples of how easy it can be – especially when done from love.
Giving from a position of love allows a ripple effect. When Mandell’s mother taught him about tithing, she couldn’t have known she was planting the seed for Mandell’s life-long desire to give back. But she would have been so proud of the man he’s become.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Mandell Conway:
>>>Follow Mandell on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mandellconway/
Resources:
Listen to Mandell: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3eW5XxHoVp0lNW16gjPO8h?si=HPP0Zo2KSgS3AkMI_Jfrkg
Nelson Mandela https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Mandela
Akimbo Workshops https://akimbo.com/workshops
Story Skills Workshop https://akimbo.com/thestoryskillsworkshop
The Kingdom of Heaven is like… https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?search=the%20kingdom%20of%20heaven%20is%20like&version1=50&searchtype=phrase
McBride Sisters - https://www.mcbridesisters.com/
She Can Fund https://www.mcbridesisters.com/Our-Story/SHE-CAN-Fund
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
I first met Jessica Nowaski when I started researching the role of coaching in law enforcement.
In my arrogance, I had assumed the idea of coaching in policing was a new one. Jess shattered my illusion. She talked, as a deputy police chief, about the need for a shift in the culture of law enforcement and how she was using coaching as a tool of leadership development to do just that.
I was bowled over by what she was saying and by the realization that there were already lots of people within the industry showing up to the hard work. Change in an established industry is slow but there are people like Jess sowing seeds.
Jessica and I spoke of how our perspectives were different – how we were coming to the conversation from different starting points, but how our desire to be part of change, and our love of coaching, unified us and our goal of better policing.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Jessica Nowaski:
>>> Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicanowaski/
>>> Follow Jessica on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Chief_Nowaski
Resources:
ICF – International Coaching Federation https://coachingfederation.org/
Adaptive Leadership
- https://youtu.be/ioocNc-HvTs
- https://youtu.be/af-cSvnEExM
Adult Development Robert Keegan and Lisa Lahey
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Listen to Sean Murphy, a former police dispatcher with the Boston Police Department for almost 17 years, talk about the need for mental health services within law enforcement. He shares his own insightful story of what peer support meant to him after failing to take care of his own health for years. Sean talks about how accepting support from his trusted peers – other first responders – was critical to his own survival.
What shifts when people own up to their mistakes? What shifts when we, as a culture, see greater strength in vulnerability than in bravado? And what becomes possible inside of law enforcement when accountability and vulnerability are no longer taboo subjects? Sean shares the signs of change he sees because more people are sharing their stories of needing – and receiving – help.
It’s hard to remain optimistic when trying to change large, entrenched organizations. Change on this scale feels impossible. But sharing stories like Sean’s, one by one, allows us to find the humanity in each other.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Connect with Sean Murphy:
On-Site Academy https://onsiteacademy.org/
Saturday Oct 22, 2022
Saturday Oct 22, 2022
This season, Undercover Coaches, was inspired by a flight attendant I met who used her listening skills as a way to connect, calm, and create an extraordinary experience for the passengers and crew.
Our interaction made me realize that I have met a lot of people who aren’t expert listeners or trained coaches but who use empathy, curiosity, and generosity to connect and create space for other people to step into possibility. I call them undercover coaches.
People in my audience were saying, your guests are amazing but I don’t have these coaching or leadership skills. I can’t do that work because I don’t know how to. What if I get it wrong. What if I make a mistake.
I feel exactly the same way. Every goddamn day.
And I’m calling bullshit on both of us.
If I’ve learned anything these past few years, it’s that no one is coming to save us. The curtain has been pulled back and it’s clear that it’s up to each one of us to show up and put in the work to make the change we want to see in the world.
Sometimes, that work is as simple as a conversation.
In this season, I interview people - including that flight attendant - who show up intuitively using these skills. My hope is that I learn how to use these tools more fluently, not just as a coach, but in my everyday life and interactions.
I’m hoping you find them useful as well.
Join me – let’s live through this, together.
Season 3 coming November 1st!
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne in Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
Tuesday Nov 01, 2022
Renée Waggener inspired Season 3 of How I Live Through This. As a flight attendant for Alaska Airlines, Renee used humor and kindness to set the tone for a flight I was on. I knew I had to meet her.
We hit it off instantly talking about the transformational power of how a person shows up. Turns out, we’re both iPEC trained coaches. The difference between us? Renee uses her coaching skills not as a coach but as a way to connect to others in her job – with far reaching implications for everyone on the flight. Together we came up with the idea that giving people space to be heard and seen is like being an undercover coach. Season 3 took flight in that moment.
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Subscribe to Anne's Newsletter - https://www.fireandlight.org/
>>> Follow Anne in Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
Resources: https://www.alaskaair.com/
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Jodi wrote to me after our interview and spoke of how when you learn the skills of listening, you get invited into the game. Similar to learning how to play soccer means you get to play with others. “Too often”, Jodi wrote, “people describe listening as work when, really, it’s just playing with others.”
Playing – and inviting others to play along - perfectly sums up my friend Jodi. She’s a longtime educator guided by curiosity and empathy, the kind of friend who will show up and give you exactly what you need in that moment, and an amazing listener – a skill she has spent a lifetime learning.
Jodi taught in Quaker schools and discovered the power of Clearing Committees – a group of people who ask questions so you can hear your own answers. Sounds like the precursor to coaching.
Hear how awareness is the key to good listening and how the joy of connecting can be learned.
Connect with Jodi Pickering:
Connect with Anne Roche:
>>> Visit Anne’s Website - https://annerochecoaching.com/
>>> Follow Anne in Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annerochecoaching/
>>> Connect with Anne on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/annerochecoaching/
>>>Visit the place where Anne dances as she fights and laughs as she leads - https://www.fireandlight.org/